im sure life is bigger than what im perceiving it to be right now. it has to be. it just has to be because my world view is so narrow. im sure it goes beyond school, cca, ministry and even family and friends. every waking hour i feel myself being sucked into a finite world where the only things tt revolve around me are homework, training, homework, training, homework, training and more trainings and trainings... i can just feel myself distancing away from myself. i can feel myself becoming less of who i would like myself to be. i want to be happy. now im losing my religion (no not religion as in christianity). im losing faith in the things i do. i dont know why am i putting so much effort into something i know is doomed from the very beginning. i find myself trying to keep up with things, trying to psycho myself that things are more hopeful than they really are. and i thought i saw myself try. but i guess it all amounts to nothing in the end. nothing. NOTHING. then i thought i saw myself cry.